Sunday, September 25, 2011

Manifesto of the 30-plus Rock concert goer...

1.  Thou shalt not worry about what to wear.  You'll inevitably get it wrong, but don't worry.
Fuck all those 16 year olds in the perfect combination of ripped white jeans and artfully placed, layered band singlets and leather cuffs.  You do not have these items in your wardrobe anymore for a reason.  The reason is because you're no longer on Centrelink benefits.  Just go with a dark jean and some sort of black top, and survey the crowd cooly with the refreshing absence of teenage angst.  You'll find they're envying you, possibly because you wore a jacket and they're dying of hypothermia.

2.  Thou shalt remember your pedigree.You were around when Motley Crue began, unlike many of those surrounding you, who were but twinkles in their parents' eyes.  Not only that,  but you've seen so, so much more... starting with the history-making Guns N' Roses at Calder park when you were 17.
You've seen Foo Fighters, Alice In Chains, Faith No More, Kiss - three times.  You went to the very first Alternative Nation, the first Big Day Out.   You remember when security was permitted to take water bottles, not just give you a cup to pour it in.  When sniffer dogs didn't exist.  And when there was no water at all to be found sometimes, except from the fire-trucks who were hosing down fainting teenagers.

3. Thou shalt not drink (much).. or maybe wait till afterConcerts used to be about drinking.  That was when a) drinks were actually allowed inside venues, and b) a drink didn't cost the price of the average small car.
These days, when weighing up between an $8 shot of sparkling "wine" (term used loosely) and missing out of 3/4 of the concert by lining up with three hundred others, one wisely chooses to enjoy the music sober.  And that's cool.

4.  Thou shalt actually watch the concert.It's an extraordinarry notion, in this age of smart-phones, in-built video devices and all number of secret recording devices, that you could actually go to an event and WATCH THE SHOW.
Well, if every second person around you has their eye glued to a screen, and the wash of scenery in the darkness before you is lit by camera phones, rather than the flickering of bic lighters, you know what?... more fool them.

Maybe one day they'll wish they actually watched it, rather than had some footage to upload to youtube afterwards.

My final word to my fellow veterans?

5. Rock on.

It's your god-given right.

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